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Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships
Most relationships have some characteristics that are healthy and some characteristics that are unhealthy. This is to help you decide what kind of things you can appreciate in your relationship and what kind of things that are unhealthy and need to change. If the bad outweighs the good, you should consider counseling or a perminent change in that relationship. In a good relationship, you and your partner should be able to read this together and decide what things are healthy in your relationship and what things are unhealthy and what you both can do to improve it. If one partner is threatened by these lists of characteristics, then it probably is not a very healthy relationship.
Healthy RelationshipsTreat each other with respect Always feel safe with each other Enjoy spending time separately, with your own friends, as well as with each other’s friends Have fun together Trust each other Are faithful to each other if you have made that commitment Support each other’s individual goals in life Respect each other’s opinions, even when they are different Solve conflicts without put downs, cursing or threats Both accept responsibility for your actions Both apologize when you are wrong Both have equal decision-making power about what you do in your relationship Each has money and can spend their money Have some privacy – letters, diary, personal phone calls are respected as your own Have close friends and family that like the other person and are happy about your relationship Never feel like you are pressured for sex Communicate about sex, if your relationship is sexual Allow each other space when you need it Have similar values and beliefs
Unhealthy RelationshipsDepends completely on the other to meet social or emotional needs Ignores or withholds affection as a way of punishing the other Uses alcohol or drugs as an excuse for hurtful behavior Acts controlling or possessive – like you own your partner Goes back on promises Tries to make the other feel crazy or plays mind games Makes all the decisions about what the two of you do Tries to keep the other from having a job or furthering their education Smashes, throws or destroys things Embarrasses or humiliates the other Blames you for their own behavior Has grabbed, pushed, hit, or physically hurt the other Tells the other how to dress Cheats or threatens to cheat Has threatened to hurt the other or commit suicide if they leave Pressures the other to have sex, or makes sex hurt or feel humiliating Frequently criticizes the other’s friends or family Does not listen when the other talks Does not take the other person seriously, or the things that are important to him/her Yells at or treats the other like a child Puts the other down by name calling, cursing or guilt tripping Gets extremely jealous and often accuses the other of cheating |